I am 99% sure that I was the first person that my sister told about her engagement. Within hours I had a picture of the ring and was hearing about details for the wedding that was being planned. I am beyond happy for both of them and can’t wait to board the plane to be her bridesmaid. But… there is the feeling that I wish it was me – not to be confused I don’t want to marry her fiancé, I wish it was me getting married.
One of the perks of my urban family is that not knowing my sister personally, they were excited for her and me, but they also asked ‘How are you doing with this?’, something that no-one in NZ asked at all. Truth be told I am doing ok with it – the dress that was sent was too big, the shoes are perfect and other than that it’s all going very well. What I am not ok with is the fact that I will be going stag. Or for those not up on the elderly slang – I will be going alone. I would love to have a wonderful partner that would board the plane with me, meet my family at the airport and then dance with me at her wedding. But that dream grows more and more faint with the passing of time. The likelihood of me meeting anyone that would make the 30 hour trip to NZ with me in December is slim right now.
Part of me feels very silly about this. I will be at a wedding where I will know a vast majority of the guest and I am sure that I will be able to coax some of them to the dance floor with me at some point. Lord knows that I will be dancing with my sis should Guns and Roses Sweet Child of Mine come on. My family will not have seen me for the best part of two years so there will be lots to catch up on and chat about. Oh and the fact that this is not actually about me! It could be quite a boring event for someone who has not met my family before and I am ensconced with the wedding party.
I was having a good old drunken moan about this to a good friend. And she gave me a very new perspective on this. She has a girlfriend and mentioned to me that whilst she has a partner, that the partner is not always welcome at weddings. And it floored me. I could not believe that in this day in age when we are all so very PC and accepting, that this would still be a problem. I could not comprehend what it might be like to be unwelcome in not only my family or my close group of friends. Or that my partner would be unwelcome with them. And suddenly my problems were not that bad.
So at the moment I am feeling lucky that should I have a boyf by December that they would be welcome to what is promising to be the wedding of the year. I am excited about going home to see my family for the first time in 2 years. And to know that when I see my kiwi besties that there will be tears, a glass (or 20) of wine poured and within about 10 minutes you would not think that we had been parted. Oh and thanks to my sis and her fiancé for making all of this happen. Mwah!
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