How to eat a Giant Jaffa

There are a few ways to eat a Giant Jaffa, but after years of experience here is the best way.  You suck it until it goes a bit soft.  When the coating is soft enough, gently crack it with your teeth and eat off the coating.  Then bite/suck the chocolate until its all gone.

The reason that I am thinking about this now, is that in the aftermath of my parents visit, I am catching up on Home and Away, baking and munching on giant jaffa’s in order to get over it.  It was reconfirmed for me at the airport today that I am pretty much rubbish at goodbyes.  Unless someone is arriving, and even then, that’s not a given, I will tear up upon entering the airport.

 

In the last two weeks I have said goodbye to my very good friends Tammy and Callum – after a great night out and Callum trying to make me look like a shark and my parents after a lovely visit.  As we said goodbye my Dad told me that it was nice to have been able to see where I live and to meet my friends.  That meant a huge amount to me as well.  Just writing this is making me cry.  I will miss them immensely, they were only here for a short while but they imposed themselves on my life pretty thoroughly.  One of the issues with this transient lifestyle is that you are constantly saying goodbye, to people that you hope will be friends for life.  It’s a bit like you have survived London together and you have a shared experience of the hardships and the good times to live by.  There is nothing quite like singing ‘You better be home soon’ with a bunch of expats who understand the pull to home and the pull to stay put.

And it raises that old chestnut – when will I be moving home?  A friend mentioned to my parents last night – when we were drinking, acting the fool, surmising what the Bishop might have said and dancing to our good friend playing – that they should now realise that the only reason we all love staying here is to avoid growing up and that we can act like students.  I have discussed this before and to be honest its very true.  I love that I don’t really have a career here, that I can do what I like without many consequences and that in London I can live very anonymously.  There will come a time very very soon when this will have to end.  I will have to start to take my career seriously and start to think about my future.

But at this moment in time – I am baking up a storm for what I like to call ‘The Festival of Biscuits’ or Homelanz, in real life, am content living my Peter Pan life, and am looking forward to series three of Go Girls.  And that is enough for now.

June Roundup

It’s Saturday morning and I should be fast asleep as it’s my only chance for a sleep in for quite a while and I can’t really see one on the horizon.  Maybe my body is getting used to getting up early.  That would not be good.  Sitting in bed with Spotify  (currently on Jesus and Mary Chain) on a Saturday morning after a great night of laughter and sing-a-longs at the Castle is not such a bad thing.  So I thought that I would do the June Roundup.

Like every other month this year June began with a hiss and a roar and then flew by before I knew it.
I caught up with an old friend and ended up in a dodgy gay bar on Clapham Common, we had a great laugh and a good catch up and far too many cocktails.  Finished the night with a Subway.  And now he has gone awol and I can’t get hold of him.  I am sure that he will be found soon.

Then like the old lady I am, I put my back out.  By rolling out of bed.  This sparked a great debate on Facebook as to whether or not I had shaggers back and what I should be doing to get shaggers back, which my Mum has confirmed that she has not read.  Thanks team.

The day after I headed to Whitstable with some mates.  I sat very straight in the car.  It was pouring with rain so we did not really get to explore.  We had a delicious lunch and then a quick look round the shops before heading back to London.  Was well pleasant.

My bad back put paid to my running training, but I am pleased to say that I completed my 5k run was completed in 38 minutes which is less than the 40 that I wanted to do it in.  I was well proud and felt good to have a workout. 

I had a trip to Dorsett, but then you already know all about that.

My friend L and I went to Zoo Lates in the pissing rain – it was my first trip to London Zoo.  The Gorilla’s and the Giraffe’s were the highlight.  I look forward to going back there again soon.

I went to Ascott for some amazing Englishness.  Despite the rain, I managed to get sunburnt and came up £20, which is a great result.

My fav barman left us for a pub closer to his home, which is fine, but I miss him nonetheless.  I am sure that he misses the cookies as well.  His girlfriend suggested that he come live with me since I was so nice to him.  She told me he was good at reaching high shelves – I could certainly use that help.

There were movies – Last Night – see here for rant about that, The Hangover 2 – great, Bridesmaids – even better – seriously go see it, one of the funniest things I have seen in ages.

There were games of Touch, I am getting better so that is all for the good.  We playing the rain for one and that was fun.

There were concerts – Kings of Leon, where my wellies attacked me and some strange man was very rude to me.  Despite this they were great, played a good set and were worth a watch.  Bon Jovi rocked Hard Rock Calling in brilliant sunshine that London managed to pull from somewhere.  My friends came down from Wales and we had a blast.  Despite the knee brace he played for over three hours and played pretty much every song he ever released.  I fell in love with him all over again and thought that he looked amazing for a 49 year old man.  (that’s right I checked.) I would have given him a good time.  BareNakedLadies at Koko was fantastic – they were funny and chatty with the crowd and not afraid of taking the piss out of themselves.  They played a great set.  I loved them all over again and walked out of that iconic venue with a smile on my face.  I loved their Canadianess, I guess I am still a sucker for an accent.  And now that I can hear the Kiwi one I am a sucker for that too, strange.  Maybe my standards are dropping again.

I gave blood – do it, your halo will be shining.

A group of us saw 8/10 Cats being filmed.  Was funny and a bit different but the seats were hard.  Finished very late so we had a roll at the train station before heading home.

Had a haircut for the first time in about 4 months – and corrected the fringe that I attempted to cut myself – I had to wait that long for it to grow out.

So that was my hectic month.  Somewhere along the way I worked and laughed and slept.

July brings more fun times – my parents arrive tomorrow at the ungodly hour of 6.35am – I guess its paying it forward for when I arrive at 5am on the 17th of December.  Not like I am counting down or anything…

Grumpy Bum

So lately, I have been an absolute delight to be around, a ray of sunshine to all who come my way… Ok that is a total lie, I have been an complete and total nightmare and driving everyone insane.  My friends have been very tolerant but if I don’t sort it out soon I will be a very lonely girl.

There are a number of reasons why I have been so out of sorts.  I am pretty stressed out right now.  Work is frustrating at the best of times but this week has been hard, not made better by my attitude I am sure.  I am working my butt off but seem to not be crossing anything off my list.

And cause I have been working long hours, I have been getting up very early – ok not early for normal people, but early for me.  But then normal people are sleeping before 1am so I guess that I am up early.  I don’t do well on little sleep, in fact I do terrible.  The first thing to go is my memory of names, people I have known for ages become whoseamafloosit and whatsherface.  The next thing that happens is that I get massive bags under my eyes and then I run out of time to wear makeup, preferring to spend those five minutes in bed.
 

It could be that I have not had a decent work out in a while.  Last night at a Weezer concert, I danced till my little hearts content and that made me feel 100% better.  I wish that I had time for a boxing class before my parents arrive to work out this frustration.

And my parents are arriving in three sleeps!  I am excited as all get out, but I have 1,000,000 things to do before they get here and that is stressing me out.

I am eating everything is sight, just like Miss Pacman and that is stressing me out more.

My sister called me a cunt.  In jest but after a week of her not returning my texts.  That unsettled me.

I am watching The L Word to de-stress but to be honest it’s just making me want to internet date and meet someone nice. 

If my Mum were here, I would say Mittin Fittin and I am heading down to the garden to eat worms.  So I will hopefully be feeling better and I won’t have to say that.

So in short I am stressed.  And I am looking like hell on a stick.  I am a total nutter who has not been good to her friends.  I am excited about seeing my folks.  I am looking forward to feeling like a real human being soon.