Wow! What a month it’s been. I have wanted to write a number of times, about
a number of exciting things that have been happening, but to be honest I have
barely had time to sleep, let alone anything else. There are so many things that I want to tell
you all and I am sure that this weekend, when I have a very quiet, sleep filled
weekend that they will all come out but for now I want to talk about my
pub.
As you all know, I have been
embroiled in a two years plus, saga of trying to save a chunk of bricks and
mortar that mean one hell of a lot to me.
This pub is where I found a rapidly disintegrating family. Why is it disintegrating? Because we don’t have a hub anymore. We are trying our best to keep up but it’s
proving harder than we all thought.
Especially for me. I have been
very busy with work over the last month, which has seen me working crazy hours,
attending a number of out of work time public meetings, all of which has severely
impacted on my social life. In days gone
by, it would be fine. I would show up at
the pub every Friday night, tired after a hard week, to a guaranteed friendly
welcome and a good time. I would walk in
the door and someone would be asking me if I wanted a single or a double vodka,
or a cider and black. Even if it was
just a few drinks and a sing a long, I would see a number of my friends and
catch up. Now without this regular Friday
interaction, I am finding it challenging to see them. Not because I don’t want to, not at all, but
because life has begun to move on and we are
scattered.
So on Wednesday after a long
day, I bullied myself into heading to military fitness. To say I didn’t want to do it was an
understatement. I was hiding in the park
until the last minute, so that if I decided to back out, the instructor would
not have seen me. But I did it. The whole group was exhausted as was our
instructor, we all worked hard, but our hearts were not in it. The three of us were encouraging each other
and jollying each other along. When I
was done, I was one happy, sweaty mess.
I was so damn proud of myself. I
trotted off to the bus and whilst waiting I checked out Facebook. To be faced with this picture.
My heart sank. I looked at it again, and felt tears
gathering in my eyes. The beginning of
the end had finally arrived. Work had
begun on the pub. The picture shows deep
coring. Which is what you do to find out
if the land is suitable to be built on.
I can only hope that its not and we can have our pub back and this
nightmare will be over. I have been in a
strange mood ever since. I guess I just
always thought that right would win out and we would one day have our pub back.
Looking at the photo, I am
reminded of what seemed like endless summer days and nights in that
garden. The second story windows used to
have a terrace and a grassed area under them, yes grass on the second floor. In summer, on a good, proper summer day, we
would climb out the window onto the terrace and sit on the grass with a bucket
of ice and cider as the night descended.
Most likely after having sat in the garden in the sun for a number of
hours. Sometimes after a good sing a
long with Simzy, if it was a Sunday. We
would look out over the high street and watch the locals coming and going,
sometimes a few foxes too. Often we would have an iphone in a glass to amplify
the sound, for music. We would chat, play drinking games, laugh and just
generally chill. And literally chill, it
would often be 1am before we came in from the terrace, when it would finally be
cool enough to contemplate
sleeping.
I look back at this time,
and right now, those feel like the golden days.
Sure we all still had issues and problems, but we were together. Most of the people that sat on that terrace
are either scattered across the world or about to be scattered across the
world. Its times like this that I dearly
miss Cate & Aaron. I miss the in
jokes – Aaron, please can you call me a cab?
You’re a cab! – I miss the cuddles and I miss the jam sessions that often
went on till the wee small hours. I miss
the belonging that came with the
pub.
I have not had a proper chat
with my friends or family, both in London or at home for a long time, time has
not been on my side. Over the next week,
I intend to reconnect, because quite frankly, I need them! I would not be the person I am today without
them. The world is beginning to shift
again and there are huge changes happening in my life, which leads to some
pretty strange headspace, so bare with me peeps, its not all bad, just taking
some getting used to!
