Over the past week, I
have had that one line of a song stuck in my head. It has been like
a mantra, but a really annoying one. I have been wracking my brains
trying to figure out where it is from and why I seem so attached to
it. I have had a half melody to go with it, but still no joy.
It’s more than just a
song lyric. It’s a way of life. I have been accused in the past
of over thinking things. What? You? No! Never! Said no one ever. We
all know that I am capable of taking one sentence from a conversation
and analysing it to a point where I have 10 different meanings for
it. I over think everything from my love life (of which there is
none), to my job, to my friendships, to the grocery list, to the gym,
and so it goes on. One of my good male friends often stops me when I
begin to relay an event that could lead to a love life and says –
You are over thinking it again. Just chill out.
So I have been trying
to chill out. Just to make it fun, when I am trying to not over
think anything, it is the time when my visa is being renewed. When
this is published, I will officially be an over stayer. But its ok,
I have faith that it will work out. I have my MP onto it, as I type,
and UK Border Agency has assured me that I am still legal to work.
Hmmmm. Don’t over think Nic, just do your job and enjoy your life.
I have been watching
with great interest the media excitement over Lena Durham. I
absolutely love her show Girls. It is gritty and honest and makes me
cringe in parts, watching it. Because it is so real. This is a New
York that could not be further away from Sex and the City. Its
people like me, facing problems like me, and behaving like me. I
love that Lena has written, directed and starred in this. This feels
like a trip into her mind. And guess what, she over thinks things
just like me. She is the new Hollywood darling and I suspect that we
are going to see loads more from her. And from all accounts, she is
an all round lovely girl as well. So over thinking is entertaining
for those around you.
So how is it going for
me? I have over thought one situation so much, that I have just
about given it up. I cannot be consumed by this and my answer to
hide under the duvet. I have over thought my visa situation no end,
I am nearly on the brink of ordering boxes to pack up my life and
move home. And then I remember that in a month, it will be resolved
and I will be thinking how silly I was. But today as I was
struggling to not think, just do, I suddenly thought, google the damn
lyrics and figure out where they are from.
They are from this song, aptly titled – You could be happy – yes I could be happy.
It’s interesting to me that in one of the most significant
upheavals of my life, this CD saved me. I had left my relationship
and house and was living with my bestie and her hubby. This CD got
thrashed in the car and every Saturday morning when I cleaned their
lovely home, I had this on loud. I was in a cleaning phase, they
didn’t force me to do it. So now that I am in another period of
transition, not quite as dramatic as that, this song has come back to
haunt me.
So there you go, I
could be happy, and I am now choosing to be. I am going to be
attempting to do a lot less over thinking and more doing. I have to
remember that those 6 years ago, that I survived the upheaval and
that I will survive again. This time on a different continent, but
with the same support, just from a different group of friends. As
well as the ones at home, who are secretly (not so secretly) hoping
that this visa does not go well and that finally return to their
shores. Although, if I did not over think things, then this blog
would be a lot less interesting… Oh no here we go again…
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