I love my spanx. They are a godsend when it comes to looking ‘smooth’
under a dress. When I mean smooth, I
mean unlumpy, they also make you drop about half a dress size. The excess is pushed to other areas such as boobs. Which I already have ample of; hence the need
for Spanx, so that is not really necessary, just makes them bigger.
So here is why I think that Spanx
are a godsend as well as the work of the devil.
When you get your Spanx of the box, they come with a cardboard insert,
which has pictures of all the things that you can do in them – apparently these
are fight fires, run a marathon, wash the dishes and a few others that I cannot
remember. I wash dishes, but I tend to
do this with my clothes on.
First comes with the getting of
them on. They are very tight and as I
have discovered they will mush your organs in, so it is best to go to the
bathroom as much as you can before you lever yourself into these things. Because once you get them on, it will be
difficult to get them off. It’s up to
you if you choose to wear knickers underneath them, I choose to. Which means that it makes it harder to use
the gusset hole. Seriously Spanx a
gusset hole? We are not men, we are not
going to be able to aim through that. So
that means the Spanx which I wear from just under my bra, down to my mid-thigh
have to come off when I go for a wee.
Hence, get as much as you can out before you attempt to get them
on. The getting of them on, designed by
the devil.
Once you have sweated with the effort
of getting them on, the results are immediate, you will be able to zip up that
dress and you will be able to move quite freely. I have danced the night away in them many a
time and have not been hampered at all.
This is the godsend of them.
Other slimming underwear can be very restrictive, and actually painful,
but with Spanx this is not the case.
They are not painful at all, they move with you and ensure that you are
able to dance the night away. Which in
my case is essential.
The getting in and out of these
for the necessity of a wee is the work of the devil. As mentioned before there is a gusset
hole. I have laughed over this hole many
times with my friends. When I have not
been wearing them, we have both examined this hole, and whilst we can see the
purpose for it, many of us can see that in practicality it would not work. I am sure that there are some dedicated women
among us who have perfected this, but I am not one of them and I don’t really
want to walk around smelling of wee, so I prefer to remove the Spanx at this
time. So picture this if you will. A tipsy me, in a tiny toilet cubicle, yanking
down these slimmers, going for a wee and then struggling back into them. So far there have been no mishaps, but I can
predict that somewhere out there, there are some hilarious stories.
The other best bit is the end of
the night. Taking you Spanx off is
similar to removing your skyscraper heels, the relief is amazing. My skin always itches as the blood returns to
it. I always laugh to myself as I do it,
at least I am by myself and there is no one there to watch that particular
spectacle.
So this is my clumsy tribute to
Spanx. Spanx you have made me look
better on many occasions, you have kept me in and held me tight. You have enabled me to dance the night away
and have no worry about wobbling everywhere. I would love to see a day when I am comfortable
enough with my body to not care and to go without them. But again, not sure that this day is coming
in the next we while. I would love to foresee
a day when I no longer need you, but think that our relationship is very safe
for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment