New Zealand’s love affair with the ridic aka why I love the news in NZ

One of my fav headlines in the NZ Herald this year so far – yes I know its only March, but it’s going to be hard to top – is ‘That’s a cockand balls’.

This is apparently a cloud

The article goes on to describe an artwork that a Council paid $200k for, outraging residents.  What I love, is that this made the national news.  Anywhere else in the world, this would be lucky to make the regional news.  I had to go and see this sculpture – my Sis and I detoured there on the way to airport the other day.  These pictures show just how much these are not sculptures of clouds.  Good god, at night they are worse!

A few months ago, the national news covered a chocolate milk shortage.  This was noticeable to those of us overseas for a number of reasons.  Firstly, that people had the time to line the aisles of a supermarket to get this choc milk, that security guards had to be employed to keep it orderly, and that this milk had not even hit the South Island yet.  Secondly, there was disbelief that the milk would be that good.  In typical tall poppy kiwi style, experts began to cut it down, it was full of sugar, ummm no shit, its choc milk, or that you could make this yourself by melting Whittakers chocolate into the milk.

Me trying the milk

Whilst I expressed disbelief at my fellow kiwis, I was determined to try this magic milk as soon as I got into the country.  My Sis seems to be talented at obtaining this gold dust.  Maybe as a stay at home mum she has the inside track on those that work.  So she got it, I tried it, it was good.  I am not a huge choc milk fan, but I did enjoy it, and it’s strong after taste.  I would recommend it to choc milk fans, but would be unlikely to buy again.

A few weeks ago Cadbury dared to announce that they were changing the Crème Egg recipe.  How dare they and what the actual fuck.  New Zealand, you don’t know how god you have it with your multiple flavours of crème egg.  We have the original only in the UK.  All of this prompted local radio DJ’s to utter the words ‘ When will Cadbury’s learn not to fuck with kiwis and chocolate? It’s a fair call, we love our chocolate.  We will forgive a fair amount but screwing with our choc is not on the list.  We will sign petitions, and boycott chocolate that contains palm oil.  We will make companies regret their decisions.  Seriously, just back away from the choc.

I was attempting to explain this to my Texan friend (who is also a vegan!), as to why this was news in NZ.  She seemed a bit bemused.  Surely, there has to be more news, she said.  Well that is the charm of NZ, there probably isn’t and we love our food.  It’s kinda comforting that there are slow news days and these whimsical items make the news.  In other countries, its all murder, kidnapping and rape.  Friends of my parents who have immigrated to NZ, some from war torn parts of the world such as Iraq, love it that the lights out at an intersection makes the news, that means that there is nothing worse happening.  I understand the comfort in that. There is a choc and milk selling out in NZ.  I know which news I would rather read.