Health, Wealth and Happiness or Health, Happiness and Wealth?

This was the blog I intended to write the other day before I went off on a name tangent…

So, the phrase Health, Wealth and Happiness seems a bit strange to me.  I understand that rhyming part of this so get that to make it rhyme that health and wealth go together, but surely it should be Health, Happiness and Wealth in order of importance.

You see this time a year ago my health was not good.  I had just undergone my second surgery in two years and was feeling pretty rough.  The week before the surgery I was ill and in pain, and was hanging out to be fixed.  To get through it I convinced myself that it was like going in for repairs.

You see two and half years ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis – something that I had heard of and did not want.  Queue two years of absolute hell.  I was in pain, I was throwing up daily for a period of three months at one point, I was a nightmare to be around due to the hormones, I gained and lost weight and I was miserable and very unhappy.  I am one of the lucky ones, because I fought tooth and nail for my health, the endo was caught early and for now it has been stopped.  The way in which it has been stopped is not particularly pleasant but at least there is a chance that I will be able to have children at some point.

So a year on from the surgery that taught me I was allergic to morphine and that I can still throw up numerous times, even after 24 hours without liquid or food, I was not happy to discover that I might be facing another medium term illness.  This week I had to have blood tests for glandular fever, having had it as a teenager, I was not impressed to learn that I could again be ill for a few months.  Thankfully after a botched blood test, which saw blood spurting from one arm,  it has been determined that I don’t have glandular fever, however, I do have an indeterminate virus that will be with me for a while.

Once, I did not have good health, I began to appreciate how important happiness was and how unimportant wealth was.  It’s true that had I had health insurance I would have gotten my surgeries faster, but with the NHS system here there is really no need for it.  But I now put more importance on my happiness.  At the risk of sounding like Charlie Sheen – I tend to have one speed and its go.  I am not good at sitting still and relaxing.  I am not good at staying in for a weekend.  This weekend has been the first for a while where I have spent Saturday night in.  And I am in again tonight.  And will be in again tomorrow.  In fact for the first time in a long time I have a clear week.  I have given up alcohol for a few weeks to try and shake this virus.  But you know what? I am still happy.  To fill in my Saturday night I watched a movie and caught up with a good friend who has moved to Aus over instant messaging.  My friends were all out at one of our friends leaving drinks.  Today I stayed in bed till 2pm, reading a book and still catching up with the same friend who was making me smile and giggle.  We are both hoping to catch up when I visit Australia.  He made me happy to be at home for a change.

You see once I recovered from my surgery I decided that I was going to live life to the full.  After two years of being in complete and utter agony I decided that I would be happy come what may.  And I am.  I have wonderful friends who constantly show me how much they loves me.  A year ago in this room I was surrounded by flowers from all over the world.  I have a great extended family the world over who are so very excited that I am going to be at home for Christmas.  Sure I have down days just like everyone else but I try to remember where I was two years ago and remember just how lucky I am. 

You will notice that absolutely none of this has to do with wealth.  You see I learnt a long time ago that money does not necessarily mean happiness.  So I think that money should go at the end of that saying.  I think that this culture could use a bit more happiness and health and a little less wealth.  In fact it could use a lot more happiness.  I try to live by a phrase that Mother Theresa once said –and I am just giving the general gist – Always leave those that you come across a little better than when you met them.  So I always give people a smile.  A smile is all it takes, and I send good thoughts to people as well.

So, are you happy?  Do you have to work at it?  Do you like to make others happy?

A Happy Mess

About 18 months ago I had the words ‘I’m alive, I’m a mess’ as my status on good ‘ol FB.  They are Heather Nova lyrics to a song which I will happily sing at top volume in my own company.  My sis commented ‘but a happy mess’.  And I guess that sometimes sums me up.  And the last two weeks have been nothing short of a happy mess.  Despite the fact that things are going fairly average, I have been in a great mood.  It’s been a while between drinks and here’s why…

Last week was a bit of a mixed bag.  My office move went a bit tits up.  We were supposed to move last Monday and we moved today.  A week late.  That involved living like you were travelling, out of tea crates.  About 20 of them to be exact, which makes it fun when you are looking for one piece of paper.  But on the upside I got to be with my Brixton mates a wee while longer.  I am going to miss that nutty place.  Brixton is horrid at the best of times but there is no debating that it has soul.

Monday was also the day when technology decided to hate me.  My broadband at home packed up.  I was most upset as I am about 3 episodes behind in True Blood and there was a few weeks of Home and Away to catch up on.  I am proud to say that I managed to fix it myself after three days of tutuing with it.  And a few calls to BT, only to find out that I broke it myself…  Then my fav accessory, my iphone decided that it would lose battery after a few hours.  This is an ongoing issue and I am feeling its loss acutely.  I am currently lugging around a power cable at all times that gets plugged in where ever I am.  Kinda defeats the purpose of a mobile phone.  Then the work computers were not there at all.  After locating them and plugging them in, I then find out that the building that we are supposed to be moving too is closed due to a power failure, that they have no idea as to what is causing it or how to fix.  Hence the late move.

But last week had a number of ups.  We won our touch game.  I walked to work twice.  I had dinner with a friend that I had not seen in ages and planned her bebe shower.  My boss had her bebe who is super dooper cute.  Had a girls night on Thursday night where we got blind drunk and I had a good rant in the cab on the way home, that has now earned me being called Nicole from now on.  We had a fabulous day for the Hangi, where I caught up with another friend who I had not seen in years.  The weather turned out a cracker day for London, the food and company was amazing.  I was still dancing at about 1.45am to Katy Perry’s Firework.  I met some fabulous new people – one of whom told me that I looked a bit like a blonde Katy Perry – despite her obvious sight issues we had a ball.  I caught up with a friend from NZ for about an hour and fourty minutes – I was working, she was curled up on the couch late at night after a hard day working on the farm.  She told me that I sounded happier than she had heard me in ages and you know what? She is right. 

 

Right now I am taking joy in the small things.  The fact that I am well enough to enjoy dancing at 1am.  This time last year it was not the case.  The fact that I have amazing friends who listen to me rant in a taxi after the 5 of us shared 8 bottles of wine.  The few compliments that I have received this week – apparently I am endearing when I am drunk.  Yay!  A BBQ in a very exclusive roof garden after a hard days work.  The taste of cider.  The fact that now that I have given up energy drinks, I have energy to burn.  Watching a friend get what I can only assume was good news as his eyes were a bit wet, but his mouth was smiling.  After hugging him and telling him that he looked happy sad, he was smiling a bit more.  Turns out that it was good news and I am thinking that Happy Sad is up there with Happy Mess.  Seeing some friends of mine who have had a rough time lately, being unusually affectionate with each other.  The 8 strong group hug that we all had last night.  The smell of my biscuits – and being introduced as Nic – she makes amazing biscuits.  I can think of worse things to be known as.  Knowing that in 20 weeks NZ sunshine will be on my shoulders and my Sis and I will be singing Katy Perry together. 

 

So yes, I am a happy mess right now.  Its 11.35 and I am waiting for two batches of biscuits to cool before I go to bed, before starting it all again.  Life is good and long may this feeling continue….

People Politics

It’s fair to say that I am tired at the moment, so therefore, might have a short fuse.  It’s fair to say that I am doing a fairly good job of keeping that fuse under control.  But everyone has a point where they just want to throw their hands up in the air and crawl under the duvet and hide from the politics of our society.  I am copping it in both my private and professional life and to be honest I am well over it.  I have seen my friends and colleagues have their feelings hurt and had mine hurt too.

None of this is to say that I am perfect, no more than the next person, and whilst I try to stay out of it, there are times when you can’t avoid it.  In the last two weeks I have heard from just about all of my friends this phrase ‘I love (insert name) but ….’ and then it all comes out, all their frustrations and anxieties.  I am beginning to wonder if there is something in the atmosphere that has got us all disgruntled.  I am certainly beginning to question where the love has gone.

My professional life is looking pretty dismal as well.  With the public sector restructure, people are beginning to fear for their jobs and this is making everyone more than a little cranky.  In what is an already tight environment, money wise, people are being asked to deliver for less and with less.  When people’s livelihoods are threatened they tend to resort back to the survival instincts that we employed in our cave man days.  So therefore we are hearing about what a rubbish job others are doing and what a great job we/us/I are doing.  It’s not a good look, but I can understand that when you are backed into a corner, you will fight your way out.

Add to this a few late nights and you have a grumpy Nicca.  So what am I doing about it?  Well I should be going for a run, but instead, I am sat in front of Home and Away with a bag of doritos, which whilst satisfying now, will make me hate myself later.  Maybe part of the problem is that I have not seen Home and Away for a week.  I am hoping that this will help.

And there are a few of my mates either heading home or planning to head home soon.  And this brings up the inevitable question, is it worth staying here, when I am not happy in my job and not being paid fantastically, and it feels like everyone is going home.  To me it seems that there is little point in living in London being too poor to be able to live the lifestyle.  I know that there would be a couple of happy kiwis, should I move back to their shores, but would I really be happier?  I am here to see the world and travel and I can’t currently afford to do that.

Well that was a bit of a rant, whinge and moan wasn’t it.  I am feeling a tad sorry for myself today.  But there are some bright sides.  I know a whole host of people giving birth this year.  My parents are due here very soon.  I am taking a fun trip home at Christmas and I will get to see my family and friends again.  There are a load of concerts this summer.  A good friend called on the weekend just to see how I was and we had a good chat.  But right now I just feel a bit down.  It could be the weather, it started off sunny today and my walk to work was great.  But by 4pm it was grey and dull.  Maybe it was not getting a chance to speak to my family this weekend. 

 

So right now I am well open to suggestions – I am thinking head to the bath with a bottle of wine, but would love to hear, what do you do when you are feeling blugh.  How do you get over it?

PS – did you know that in Scotland they call Ear muffs, ear defenders!  What is with that!